How back and forth the pendulum goes. Assessing the impact of our actions when effecting others. I believe both sides of the story; leaning one way or the other depending on the day, the wind, stress, and challenges of this walking life. Some days I wake and saunter into a world where we’re all bubbling bouncing cell atoms colliding in a unpredictable chaotic mass…bound to run into one another and, BOOM! Bound to run into another and, BOOM, BOOM, BOOm! It’s how planets, stars, suns, moons were created and sucked into black holes. It’s the mystery I don’t have to plant my attention on to keep turning the evolution wheel. A plethora of star matter in constant motion, while we spin on creating more stars. Like the splatter wheel, if we just keep moving we create a beautiful colorful art piece. No matter what we do, the ever unfathomable cycle of creation and deconstruction is at work. Other days the impact of my boot accidentally squashing a local ant on the sidewalk seems to directly correlate to the separateness, and expanding unconscious of a graceless society of humans. Where every breath I take, every piece of plastic I throw away, every negative thought that glides across my brain matter is impacting the past, present and future of my world. The daily choices of living in love or living in fear directly effecting my relationships, my creativity, my ability to be grateful, my wonder in it all.
The days where the universe appears like a bunch of water spiders rocketing off one another are my shy days. Thought patterns expand to a highly esoteric place, and my attention is settled either extremely inward or so expanded I have a hard time talking or responding to anyone or anything. I let myself collide, without commentary on how it feels and its absorption. A time to witness and melt, to be apart.
Then in a flash my eyes slurp open, and the fact that I’m alive, consuming , trampling, soaking up everything with the unrelenting use of my senses, and trying with all my might to make an impact. An impact that always seems to have a motivating inspiring birth, and a judgmental death. Asking desperate redundant questions in hopes that the answer will heal all or at least simmer the majority of tribulations that ail our universe. OH, that universe!!! All of that black space, the other infinite time frames, wrinkles in time, light years of duplication, and mountains of shear unknown, residing as our neighbors. All of this effected by my every thought, my pattern of thoughts, my ability or inability to breathe through it and walk on with an authentic smile on my face. These tend to be the days my fierceness comes out.
The days when I’m soo ready to make, create and be actively apart of the complicated yet malleable cog.
Typically these two realms of thought come crashing together in an uncomfortable overwhelming puddle. Leaving me staring at a wall at extreme close proximity…I’m ok with that. The amount of information available for the human to absorb these days surpasses our typical ability to deal with it, and I’m so wowed and stunned by the capacities of achievements and deconstruction possible.
So before I find my closest painted wall, I want to impart a list of gifts I hope to mix into this colloidal mush of electric energy.
To inspire the unrelenting freedom of expression
To play and adventure with humanity whether it look ugly or divine
To laugh at myself so I can laugh with you
To shake my booty with as many people in honor, and reminder of our divine right to create
A reminder to myself to be myself!