The Long Distance of It

pack your heart into a suitcase and make sure you have room for friends, soulmates, grandma's and imaginary friends!
pack your heart into a suitcase and make sure you have room for friends, soul mates, grandma’s and imaginary friends!
STAYING CONNECTED
pack your heart into a suitcase KNOWING YOU CAN STRENGHTHEN YOUR RELATIONS FROM AFAR! Yes, it can really happen

Present circumstances have me thinking about all the ways long distant relationships have played a part in my life.  At first glance, it always hurts to part from friends, loved ones, and family. staying connected contessacreate 2 Actually at first, second and third glance, it hurts to part from those we have held so dear. Much of that feels as if a part of us will be flying away for an inconceivable amount of time.

Today I share coping mechanisms, tips and tricks, and opportunities that the long distant relationships can offer. staying connected contessacreate 1 I have, and have always had a nomadic heart, and one of the consequences of that is being the one that’s leaving and acquiring yet another long distant relationship.  From a very young age, while I was still dreaming and yearning for the unknown wandering road,

A yearning for the road, and the heartache that can bring was born within me, and it's just about unlocking the keys to the wanderers heart.
A yearning for the road, and the heartache that can bring was born within me, and it’s just about unlocking the keys to the wanderers heart.

I was aware that the majority of my relations would be physically distant.  The most important thing I’ve learned now from living through this time and time again, is the multi-spectral rainbow of relationships we acquire through a lifetime can bond stronger  through the distance.  Here’s my best advice:

LEAVE A TRAIL OF BREADCRUMBS-Much like exploring a pitch black cave for the first time, you’ll want to stay connected with where you feel is safe.  As you part, leave something behind specifically for the person or loved one. It will signify that this parting is something special and should be held onto.  As your journeys pull apart, you can keep sending back honing signals that will create a trail connecting the two of you.  This way its hard to feel as if you lost something. Drawings, tokens, little music boxes, magic stones, and memento’s of your connection.

HANDWRITTEN LETTERS/ SNAIL MAIL – Tide and true, messages that can be physically delivered and touched relay a sense of closeness that is hard to achieve any other way.  The fact that it continues to be a dying form of communication makes it ever more precious, and solidify’s bonds.  It’s such a sensorial treat to touch something your loved ones touched, to smell where they were when they mailed it, to be apart of a present moment when so far away.  In a world where we try to make everything convenient and complex, taking the time to put together mail can squash the symptoms of longing.

START BRAND NEW –  When my grandmother past when I was in university, I hadn’t ever developed the relationship I craved with her.

This photo is of my Grandma when she was my age, presently.  I think I'm going to steal her hair do, and make the connection a little deeper.
This photo is of my Grandma when she was my age, presently. I think I’m going to steal her hair do, and make the connection a little deeper.

And now the death of a past physical life was creating a forever distant relationship. One that was never cultivated seemed too difficult to hold onto as the weeks went by.  I realized after a few months that her passing was a ticket to us being able to start over.  I realized I was talking to her, asking for her help and guidance, laughing with her, and a year later felt more connected with my Grandma than I had the length of our living relationship.

PLAN SYNCOPATED MOMENTS –  Whatever the distance, planning to be at a certain location at the same time to watch and experience the same thing can make the world shrink till you are sitting right next to one another experiencing the same feeling.

Me on a boat staring back at my Blue, in a moment, a feeling I'll never forget.  No matter how far apart, I can recall this moment and we are both together.
Me on a boat staring back at my Blue, in a moment, a feeling I’ll never forget. No matter how far apart, I can recall this moment and we are both together.

As long as you have the feeling of your relationship you can be millions of miles away and experience the notion of closeness.  Plan a moment to both star at the moon, or be looking over the same photographs at the same time

What are some of your tactics for long distance relationships, whether it be friendship, romantic, familiar?

Being on the road a lot has procured a collage of relationships I never could have imagined and staying connected through the distance has been one of my life’s greatest inspirations.  Let’s stay connected!!

Comment with your experiences and tips for staying connected through the distance…See ya FRIDAY for the first installment of THE DUSTY MOON ROAD, adventure series!!!!!

Check out the Welcome page for this new series of blogs.

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8 thoughts on “The Long Distance of It

  1. Terrific post, Contessa. As a world traveler myself, I often struggle to part with my loved ones and family, particularly on extended trips. One thing I’ve found that helps me a lot is to bring something that reminds me of home, perhaps a special pin or a favorite accessory to wear, that I can keep with me as I travel to different places. Like your breadcrumbs suggestion, this helps me to remember where I’ve started from and where I will return at the end of my travels.

    1. Scarfs are my thing. I take a loved ones scark with me and wrap it around myself whenever I’m in the transportation phases of traveling. Providing comfort and strength. The smell of our connection.

  2. Snail mail is a must for me, particularly the unexpected variety. I think it’s the time lapse which makes it seem longer lasting, and stretches out the connection between one another.
    You’re not only thinking of your loved one when writing the message, as is evident with faster methods like e-mail, but will be thinking of them as the mail is travelling, imagining them opening it and wondering if it has arrived yet. And when they do receive it they’ll be thinking of what you have moved on to since writing it.
    It’s like a link between the sender’s past and the recipent’s future 🙂

  3. I’m currently in a long distance relationship and we haven’t really hit that sweet spot yet. We’re still trying to figure out how to stay connected with one another and feel like we’re a legitimate part of each others’ lives. I’ve been thinking about sending care packages with cute little reminders of inside jokes :). Thanks for these ideas!

  4. I went all the way back to that day when that strong and magical connection happened, it fills me again with something i can’t explain, with that peace and warm feeling, i can only say Thank you with all my heart, i will never forget !

  5. Most of my friends live far away and I’m in a position where I can’t leave my city that easily at the moment. Often I feel horribly stuck and deserted here and I miss friends that once lived with me here. Still, there are so many people that means the world for me now and I know i might have to say goodbye soon to them as soon as my school is over (I’m going to study in October).and the thought of “losing” them, too breaks my heart.
    But I try to remember what they’ve given me. I print out emails and put them in my diary, I document everytime I see them and what we talked about, in waht mood they where, what I loved about them. I keep a lot of fotos everywhere and whenever something reminds me of them I try to tell them that over the magical connection of the internet (thank God for that).
    Often I think then I’m annoying then and I’m unsure about my actions though… I try to remember what connected us and how they showed me that they like me. And even when our ways may part us and somehow connections stops, the time spent with them, even memories are so precious and beautiful treasures. They will be with me everytime, everywhere forever. So, I’m somehow always connected to all the people I love.

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